Get along, little doggie
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Get along, little doggies
For you know New York will be your new home
Get along, little doggies
It's your misfortune and none of my own
Where's that Joe Buck?
Get along, little doggies
Look at this crap!
Yeah, where's that Joe Buck?
Where's that Joe Buck?
You're late!
You know what you can do with them dishes.
If you ain't man enough, I'd be happy to oblige.
I really would.
How you doin', Ralph?
4.00 to midnight. That's when you're here.
Could you have a word with me?
Why are you in that getup? Grab an apron.
He knows what he can do with that.
- You come to work? - Guess not.
Come for my pay. I'm heading up east.
- Heading up east? - Thought I'd say goodbye.
Just come to look around.
Cups!
Well...
Goodbye.
What'll you do back east?
There's a lot of rich women begging and paying for it.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
The men are tutti-fruttis.
It's a mess back there.
I'm gonna cash in.
I don't know nothing about it.
Why stay around here? I got places to go.
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, lower...
That's real... nice, honey.
It's powerful, ain't it?
Yeah, sure is powerful.
It's shooting season.
Go to Lloyd's for all of your gun supplies.
Listen to these values: Remington shotgun for $72.47...
You look real nice, lover boy.
Make your old grandma proud.
You're the handsomest cowboy in the parade,...
...the best-lookin' one.
Bye, honey. Dinner's in the fridge.
Grandma got herself a new beau!
Excuse me. Do you have another piece of gum for her?
Yes, I do. Here.
Take one for yourself.
No, thanks. It's just till the Dramamine works. She's carsick.
I get carsick on boats.
But that's more the fish smell than the bouncing.
How far you headed?
- To Dallas. - Up Dallas?
- Where you going? - New York City, ma'am.
Do you love me, Joe?
Do you love me? You love me?
You're the only one, Joe. You're the only one.
You're better than any of 'em, Joe.
You love me? You're the best! Love me, Joe.
Do you love me, Joe? Do you love me? Love me.
You're the only one, Joe.
You're the best, Joe. The best.
This is the Sunshine Hour.
Yes, sweet Jesus, faith healeth!
Here's a letter from a sister enclosing $10...
...and two tumours she coughed up during last week's broadcast.
Before we join in prayer for her,...
Jesus wants to know who sent in $5.00 for the home worship kit.
- Want a cigarette, sir? - No, thanks. Chew tobacco.
...with Sister Rosellen.
Throw in Rosellen, you got a deal!
You ever met a cowhand named Woodsy Niles? Woodsy Niles, sir?
- Not to my knowledge. - My grandma's friend.
I want it on.
For it's hi! hi! hee! in the field artillery
Shout out your numbers loud and long
Seventy-seven Radio in New York, this is WABC.
That's New York talkin'!
Hear that?
What's your male ideal?
Gary Cooper, but he's dead.
Thanks. And what's your ideal?
He takes pride in his appearance.
- Consideration first. - Tall. Definitely tall.
- Someone I can talk to in bed. - Not afraid of sex.
- A Texas oil man. - Aggressiveness.
- Outdoor type. - A rebel.
- Young. - You.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Thank you.
Shit.
She'll give us her remedy for insomnia.
It's pretty unusual, but I move furniture around.
Everything but the sofa. That's my remedy for insomnia.
My remedy's dial this hotel and ask for Joe Buck.
Brought to you by Morgan Vandercook.
Up your income...
Up your income, lady.
Asimir Oil, 207/8, up 15/8.
Commonwell United, 221/2, up 13/8.
Data Science is 645/8, down 11/8.
Maligdanide Corporation of Canada, 6, up 1/2.
I'm new here. Just in from Texas.
I'm looking for the Statue of Liberty.
Ma'am!
Were you serious about the Statue of Liberty?
- Yes, ma'am. I mean business. - I'm sorry. I...
Well, the Statue of Liberty...
I think you take the Seventh Avenue subway.
- No, wait... - You're sure pretty.
You're not looking for the Statue of Liberty at all!
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Come on, Baby, do it for Mama. Come on, Mama's tired.
Baby, come on. Do it for Mama.
Hey, little ol' dog! How you doin'?
They got you all gussied up for something.
I'm brand new here. I was hoping to see the Statue of Liberty.
- Hoping to see what? - Statue of Liberty.
It's in Central Park taking a leak.
Maybe you'll catch the supper show.
He's picking something up for me.
I got your message. How do you feel?
I loved your friend Mr Needleman,...
...the last of the great King Midases.
My God, I was exhausted. It was beautiful, but...
God, stop! I die from that! What?
No one. I was talking to Baby. I was talking to the dog, Maury.
You're annoying me. Don't start up again.
Why don't you say hello to Baby? Baby wants to say hello.
I won't talk to the dog!
- Daddy wants to say hello. - Hello, Baby.
Hello, you goddamn dog. Bow-wow-wow, Baby.
Will I see you tonight? Wherever you say.
- Just you and me. - That's great.
- How about Lindy's? - What time?
Like 5.30. We don't have to rush.
- My wife's away. - Beautiful, baby.
I can stay all night. How about a kiss?
You got it. A big wet one.
Save some of that for tonight. Love you.
- Love you. - Love you, kid.
Welcome to Dateline.
In our isolation booths...
- Because I'm a stable-hand? - One, two...
- Is God dead? - Let's not talk about it!
Can I take my mother?
- My God! - It makes black whiter.
- Knees up. - Come on out!
Cass, you got yourself a damn penthouse.
Real damn penthouse.
Don't look.
Knock off a couple of pounds, and I'd really be gorgeous.
Don't touch. I'm late already. What time is it? Oh, my God.
Straighten out the bed, Tex.
Say, Cass, sure have enjoyed being here.
It's as fine a time as I've ever had.
- Me, too, lover. - That's good.
You made me feel so at home, I hate to bring up business.
It's murder. What line are you in? Zip me up.
Maury's always complaining about ulcers.
I don't know what line Maury's in, but I'm a kind of hustler.
Pardon me, ma'am?
Got to make a living.
- Did you hear me? - My mind isn't all here.
I don't want to be late. Why don't you run along.
Take the number. We'll get in touch soon.
I forgot to get to the bank. I need a few bucks for a taxi.
I hate to ask you, but you're such a doll.
That's funny, you mentioning money.
- I was gonna ask you for some. - You were?
That's why I come up here.
You were gonna ask me for money. Who do you think I am?
Some old slut on 42nd Street?
In case you didn't notice, you Texas longhorn bull,...
...I'm a gorgeous chick!
- Take it easy. - You're 28!
You can't pull this kind of crap!
- You're crazy! - Come on now.
I could kill you! Get out of here!
Cass, honey...
Come on.
You think I meant that?
Would I ask you for money with a wad like that?
Stop your crying. You're gorgeous.
A guy gets horny just lookin' at you. How much you want?
Five? Ten?
Twenty?
There you go, girl.
Terrific shirt.
- You speaking to me? - I was admiring your shirt.
I bet you paid a pretty price for it.
- I ain't cheap. - Yeah. Birds.
- It's an all-right shirt. - I like birds.
I don't like to wear cheap stuff.
- Sure. - Hi, cowboy. Got a cigarette?
- Hey, sweetheart. - More faggots in this town...
- Kiss it, Ratso. - Up yours.
- Watch out for that. - You really know the ropes.
Wish I bumped into you before.
- Joe Buck from Texas. - Enrico Rizzo from the Bronx.
- I'm gonna buy you a drink. - Sure.
Drinks all around. One for my friend, too.
When I get satisfaction, I give her satisfaction.
See what I'm getting at? She got a penthouse,...
...a colour TV, more diamonds than the archbishop.
- She bawls when I ask her. - For what?
- For money. - Money for what?
I'm a hustler. You didn't know that?
How should I know? You gotta tell people these things.
I'm a hustler.
All right, you're a hustler.
You're pickin' up trade on the street... that's nowhere.
- You gotta get some management. - You put your finger on it.
You need my friend O'Daniel.
He operates the biggest stable in the whole metropolitan area.
It's stupid, a stud like you paying.
A dame starts crying, I'd cut my heart out.
I'd call that a very minor operation.
You just sit comfy, and I'll cut it out for you, Ratso.
- It's Rizzo. - That's what I said.
- You heard him. - That's OK.
I'm used to these types that like picking on cripples.
- The sewer's full of 'em. - One question, cowboy.
You're sitting here, and he's sitting there.
How'll he get into your pocket? But I guess he's figured it out.
- Good night, sweets. - Faggot.
Most of these gals are older, dignified.
Social register types.
They can't pick out the merchandise in Times Square.
They got to have a middleman. That's where O'Daniel comes in.
Hey! I'm walkin' here!
Up yours, you son of a bitch!
Don't worry about that. Good way to pick up insurance.
That's crazy, a stud like you paying that dame.
With proper management,...
...you could earn 50, $100 a day, easy.
Hey, Brucie, hang in there, baby.
What's that?
Placed him with O'Daniel two weeks ago.
Ain't much of a stud.
All right.
How about you introduce me to Mr O'Diddleburg right now?
I'd be doing both of you a favour, but for what?
Why am I dragging my bum leg around?
Tomorrow, someone like that may be scratching your back.
Where will I be?
Hold on. You think I'm that kind of son'bitch?
You name your cut, and you got it, I swear.
- All right. - What you want? Five? Ten?
You kidding me? I'll ask somebody else.
- There's ten. - All right.
Forget it. I'll take the ten.
But I'll have to have another ten to cover expenses.
I'll buy you a coffee.
Get out of here, creeps. Go to work.
He needs you tonight. I got his tongue hangin' out.
His name is Joe Buck. He's a cowboy.
Came in from Texas. He don't know the ropes yet,...
...but he's very promising material.
Fabulous. Right away. What's your room number again?
Right. OK.
The guy... Hold it a second, will you?
How do you look?
Fine. You look fine.
Could I have that other ten?
I'll make this right when I get set up.
- Forget it. - Where do you live?
- Sherry Netherland's Hotel. - Sherry Neverland's Hotel.
Get your ass in there. He's waitin'. You on vacation?
What's the matter with you?
- You must be Joe Buck. - Yes, sir.
Let's take a look.
Turn around.
Good strong back. You'll need it.
So you want help, hey?
Sit down. Relax.
- Cowboy? - I ain't a for-real cowboy.
- I'm one hell of a stud. - Take it easy.
You're different from most of the others.
Most of them are troubled and confused.
You know exactly what you want.
You bet I do.
Yeah... but you got one thing in common with those other boys.
I'll bet you're lonesome.
Well, not too. I mean, a little.
Lonesome.
I'm lonesome, so I'm a drunk.
I'm lonesome, so I'm a dope fiend, I'm a thief,...
...I'm a fornicator, a whoremonger!
Poop, I say. Poop! I've heard it all.
- I'm sick of it. - I can see that.
Lonesomeness... you take it, and you go right on with your work.
- I'm rarin' to go, sir! - I believe you are.
- Cowboy, eh? - Yes, sir.
- Ready for hard work? - I'm ready for anything!
It'll be easier for you than for most others.
- Like money from home. - Money from home!
There's your strength, son!
You put things earthy so anybody can understand.
I warn you, I'm gonna use you. I'm gonna run you ragged!
You're wonderful, boy. We'll have fun together.
- It needn't be joyless. - No, it don't.
Why don't you and me get right down on our knees right now.
- How's that strike you? - Where?
Right here! Here! Right now! Why not?
I've prayed in the streets, the saloons, and the toilets.
It don't matter where if He gets that prayer!
- Shit! - That's the ticket!
Open your heart and let it flow!
- Don't be frightened! - I baptise thee...
And you shall be heard!
...and the Holy Spirit.
Don't run from Him!
You know that runty bastard I was with?
Don't know nothing.
Stop it! Stop it!
What's that monstrosity?
- A toupee for dogs. - For dogs?
- This is Fifi's wig. - That's for that dog?
I don't believe this! There's something going on here.
Seriously, isn't this a case of conning a lot of lonely people?
We're lonely, yes. Who else would do it?
A woman who is alone...
Dinner's in the fridge, lover boy.
Here's movie money.
That's sick, dressing dogs like children.
This is in case she eats an onion.
- That's terrible! - She likes it.
If I can find the hole...
Gold, silver, candlelight,...
...wine, and skyrockets that glitter in your mind.
You're special. Give yourself special treatment.
Need money? We'd love to lend it to you.
Why worry about your future? What do you want?
Take it easy, but take it.
Room 514, please.
Looks like you been locked out till you pick up the tab.
What about all my things?
We keep them safe till you get this settled.
You can keep everything but the suitcase. It means a lot to me.
We keep everything. House rules.
Gonna eat them crackers?
Spilled somethin' on my pants.
- How do I get to Grand Central? - Follow the green lights.
Officer, how do I get to Grand Central?
You know what you got to do, cowboy?
Spacecraft to Earth Control. Check trajectory.
Captain Grace is investigating the malfunction.
Orbital module has failed to separate as planned.
Mission Control to spacecraft. You have 30 seconds...
...before you are ejected into lunar trajectory.
Do you read me?
Spacecraft to Earth Control, I read you.
Chuck, I've lost you!
We've lost contact with Captain Grace. Can you track him?
Kiss me, Joe.
He's in freefall. Try to make contact.
You're the only one, Joe.
Kissin' Crazy Annie, man, you'd better drink a drugstore.
Kiss me, Joe.
You're the only one, Joe!
I'm sorry you're sick.
You'll have to give me that money.
I was lying. I don't have it. What'll you do to me?
- You ain't got no $25 on you? - No.
- What'll you do to me? - What do you think?
Want me to beat on you? Is that what you want?
- How much you got? - Nothing.
Empty your pockets out over there.
- Take my books. - Don't want your books.
- What's that worth? - Don't take my watch.
Please don't take it. It's a cheap watch.
I can't go home without it.
My mother would die. Don't take it. She'd die.
She would die.
Please.
I don't want it.
Preparing for this moment of glory,...
...a basic training as rigorous as the star players'...
...long hours of choreography...
...that would put the Rockettes to shame.
Musical arrangements, rehearsals, costume fittings.
America is being invaded.
You can spot the invaders if they're alone.
They're dark, heavy, and have noticeable accents.
Every day, they're working themselves into more homes.
What can you do about them? Enjoy them.
Better Homes and Gardens tells you about new Spanish furniture.
Don't hit me! I'm a cripple!
I ain't gonna hit you. I'll strangle you!
- Wait a minute. - Where's my money?
- Here. - Put it there.
All right, here.
- That's all I got. - That's all?
- What's in your socks? - Nothing, I swear.
I swear on my mother's eyes. Sixty-four cents. Take it.
It's sticky. You slobber on it?
Here. Have a cigarette. Come on.
Sit down.
How do you like O'Daniel flippin' out?
I tried to find you, but I've had this cold.
You want some medical advice? Keep your mouth shut about that.
Right. Fine. OK. Another subject.
You still at the hotel?
Why am I talkin' to you?
Hey, come on!
- Hey, wait up! - Keep away from me!
Don't come near me again.
I ain't fightin' you. I got a place for you.
- I'm invitin' you! - You're inviting shit.
The "X" on the windows means no rent. It's condemned.
Front door. Actually, I prefer it that way.
Keeps the punks and creeps out.
My own private entrance. You're the only one who knows.
Watch the plank! Break your goddamn skull.
Can't collect insurance.
Back, back.
There's glass there.
Get that fridge, will you?
- Need any help? - Not from you.
You OK? It's not far.
It's just one more up. The electric's off.
I don't mess with it. Another convenience.
But the icebox will keep out the roaches.
- Where'd you steal it? - Been down there for weeks.
- I don't mean now. Before. - Don't get a hernia.
Just drop it anywhere.
Not bad, huh?
There's no heat, but by winter, I'll be in Florida.
You want to stretch out?
Make yourself comfortable?
OK... go ahead. Why don't you take a nap?
You like some coffee?
Joe, do you love me?
You're the only one, Joe. You're the only one.
Joe, stop that!
He's the one. The only one.
He's the one. He's the only one.
There have been 429 American casualties,...
...twenty-nine on the death list, as opposed to 643...
Hey, why are you mad?
- What's the matter? - Where's my damn boots?
Over there.
- How'd they get off? - I took 'em off.
- What for? - So you could sleep. Christ.
- I should haul ass out of here. - What's the matter now?
You're after something. What are you after?
- Don't look like a fag. - What's that mean?
You want me to stay, right?
I ain't forcing you. Who's forcing you?
I'm truly sorry. Must've got the wrong impression.
OK. OK, boy.
I want you to stay. I invited you, right?
I hope you know what you're in for. I'm dangerous.
Someone does me bad...
If I'd caught up to you that night, you'd be dead.
- You hear? - I'm impressed. You're a killer.
I thought you should know, that's all.
Probably Y.M.C.A. You make me want to puke, Ratso.
Joe, do me one favour.
- This is my place. Am I wrong? - No.
In my own place, my name ain't Ratso.
In my own place, my name is Enrico Salvatore Rizzo.
Can't say all that.
Rico, then. At least call me Rico in my own place.
OK. Rico, Rico, Rico.
- Rico, Rico, Rico. That enough? - That's fine.
Give me one of those pillows.
Don't touch my radio.
Are you here again? I told you to stay away!
- Every time, you take stuff! - Stop picking on the cripple!
- Cripple or not, I don't care! - Goddamn it!
The two basic items necessary to sustain life...
...are sunshine and coconut milk.
You know that? That's a fact.
In Florida, there's a lot of coconut trees.
They even got 'em in the gas stations.
And ladies! In Miami, you got... You listening to me?
You got more ladies than in any resort area.
On a given day, there's probably 300 on the beach.
You can't scratch yourself...
...without gettin' a bellybutton up the kazoo.
It's hot. Let's go.
Come on!
Smells worse hot.
Then cook for yourself or get a rich lady to cook for you.
- I'm eatin' it. - In her penthouse.
I'm eatin' it, Ratso. Good!
- It's good. - Got to get out of here.
Got to get out of here.
Anybody can score in Miami Beach, even you.
Nobody buys that cowboy crap any more.
They're laughing at you.
- Nobody's laughin'. - I seen 'em laughin' at you.
When's the last time you scored, boy?
I only talk about that in confession.
When's the last time you confessed?
That's between me and my confessor.
You're beginning to smell. For a stud, that's a handicap.
I ain't never seen you change your underwear. That's weird.
I ain't got no need to expose myself.
Bet you ain't never been laid, and you tell me what women want!
I know that cowboy crap don't appeal to nobody...
...except every 42nd Street Jackie.
That's faggot stuff!
That's strictly for fags!
You gonna tell me John Wayne's a fag?
The way I look makes me feel good.
Women like me. Only thing I ever been good for is lovin'.
They're crazy for me. They had to send Annie away.
How come you ain't scored this whole time?
'Cause I need management! You stole $20 off of me!
Stop crappin' around about Florida.
Get your butt moving and earn some management,...
...which you owe me!
A woman in your condition shouldn't have to do this.
You have a lot of laundry!
- It ain't right. - What did it cost her?
- What do you mean? - The laundry lost some coins.
- That's it. - Take it.
That's good. Where's mine? The black Homburg.
I don't know if your hat's here. Bring me the ticket.
What about that black Homburg? Is that it?
Ticket? Yeah, here's my ticket. It's right there in the corner.
- I'll look 'em over. - Keep going. In the corner.
It not belong to you. It belong to somebody else.
Bet you could make a living at that.
And end up a hunchback like my old man?
My dad spent 14 hours a day in the subway.
He'd come home with two or three dollars.
Coughed his lungs out from breathing in that wax.
Even the faggot undertaker couldn't get his nails clean.
Buried him with gloves on.
Go ahead. Take a look.
Don't rush me. Got to take your time.
Get myself primed up for some pretty little blond lady.
When I'm feelin' good, I spin around.
There you are, you handsome devil!
Not bad. Not bad...
...for a cowboy.
You're OK.
Taxi!
You got something on your shoulder. You got it.
Go ahead.
You haven't got a quarter, have you?
- How do you like that? - What you got?
I struck gold - one high-class chick.
Barkley Hotel for Women. Women.
Is this the gentlemen's escort service?
I'm calling for Miss Beecham at the Barkley Hotel.
She changed her mind. She won't need nobody tonight.
That's right. Thanks. Bye.
Would you believe a whole hotel full of lonely ladies?
Score once, and the way they talk,...
...I could open an office in there.
Go ahead. Get the money.
Listen, get the cash! Remember the penthouse lady.
Those rich ladies write a cheque,...
...and in the morning, they stop payment.
Watch the car! Go on.
Rico! Up here! Up here!
B-6, G-49.
G-49.
I-24.
And the next one is O-62, ladies and gentlemen.
O-62. Are there any bingos? The next one is B-13.
- How dare you! - Wait a second, lady!
Don't touch her!
It's 28 degrees, and it's going down tonight.
We can expect some snow flurries later on.
I'll give you $5.00 for it.
Yeah.
I got a telephone call from Jesus
I got him on the line
Got a telephone call from Jesus
I got him on the line
I want to show you something.
There's money for you.
That's $9.00 plus assorted change, minus 26 cents for milk.
Plus five cents for Dentyne. Gum.
That's smart. Light a cigarette.
Buy a carton. Do it right.
- Where'd you get it? - I got it.
Where you been, 42nd Street? That's where you been.
- Movies, that's where you been. - Ain't been nowhere.
- That's where you got that. - What, this?
- "What, this?" - A friend give it to me.
- A friend. - Yeah.
Who'd you ever do a favour for? You stole it.
It's for you. It's too big for me.
- I wouldn't wear it. - I'll be goddamned if I will.
Here.
Buy some medicine before you die.
- I hate boneyards. - He ain't your father.
He was dumber than you. He couldn't write his own name.
"X", that's what it ought to say on that headstone.
Just like our dump, condemned by order of City Hall.
My grandma, Sally Buck... she died without lettin' me know.
They're stormtroopers! They made me get out of the car.
It all depends on what you believe in.
Sometimes your spirit goes up, sometimes it goes other places.
How long did I hold up traffic?
Give someone power, and they'll supercede their authority.
This kind of thing is spiritual.
Now you're talkin' priest talk.
I'm talkin' about what people believe.
Some people believe you can come back in another body.
- Not in yours, I hope. - I ain't askin' you to.
You could come back as anything - a dog or a president.
If I had my choice, I'd come back as the president.
What do you think?
Maybe you got to think about those things for a while.
I'm usually a very calm person. Forgive me, I'm awfully sorry.
I'll write a letter to the mayor.
You're entitled to think what you want.
- Maybe I do. - Him.
Maybe I do believe it.
And I'll...
...do some thinkin' about it.
- What was that all about? - Lookee here.
I've been chosen for something.
- A come-on. - A come-on to a party.
Couple of whackos. Where do you go, Klein's Bargain Basement?
You go, you'll get an encyclopaedia subscription.
Broadway and Harmony Lane. Hansel and Gretel McAlbertson.
- That's perfectly clear. - Get out of here.
What do whackos like that want with us?
It don't say nothin' about you.
- Nothin' about you, either. - They took my picture.
Want me to get lost?
I didn't say nothin' about that. Did I say that? Did I?
I'll tell 'em I don't go nowhere without my buddy.
I ain't dressed for a party.
There you go, right here.
Hey, dog.
You all right?
You OK?
You're sweating all over the damn place.
Come here.
- You got a comb? - I don't need one.
Here. A few dozen cooties won't kill me.
- OK? - Yeah.
- I look OK? - Yeah.
OK, come on.
Take my picture.
One more close-up of her.
I love the theatre. I want to die on the stage.
My hair, it's fur. It's tendrils reaching out into space.
I've watched it touch stars.
They're all whackos.
We better tell somebody I'm here.
- I made it. This is Ratso. - Rico. Rico Rizzo.
- Hello. - There's beer behind me.
Anything you want.
Oh, Jesus.
Hansel's a fag, and Gretel's got the hots for herself.
Load up on salami.
- It's like what? - It's like heroin.
Death is like heroin, and it's nothing.
It's like death. It's nothing.
- Why are you here? - I dunno.
- Who brought you? - I don't know.
Thank you, ma'am.
What you doin'? She give it to me.
Do you want up or down?
Why are you stealing food?
I noticed you're out of salami.
You should have someone go to the delicatessen.
You don't have to steal it. It's free.
- Then I ain't stealing. - How'd you get crippled?
- Slipped on a banana peel. - What's the matter?
- Get off me! - Go use my shower.
Go take a walk. Don't touch me! Take a walk.
Take a shave.
- Keep your hands off! - You look hot!
- Guess who I am. - Who?
Me! How you doin'? Gettin' your picture taken?
Let's... leave now.
Your place... or mine?
- She's hooked. - Why, cowboy?
- I'll expect 20 bucks. - Why, cowboy whore?
- Did you know we'd make it? - You really mean business?
Who is he? Don't tell me you two are a couple.
Are you really a cowboy?
I ain't a for-real cowboy, but I'm a stud.
A very expensive stud. I'm his manager.
- How much will this cost me? - Twenty bucks.
- OK. - And taxi fare.
Get lost, will you?
That'll cost one buck taxi fare.
- OK? - Yeah, OK, OK.
Oh, boy.
Here.
- Go ahead. - Come on.
- I don't even know your name. - My name's Joe.
Oh, fabulous! Joe could be anyone.
I like that. "Come here, Joe. Kiss me, Joe".
That's a good idea. Kiss me.
Too much. He fell. Hey, fella, you fell.
- Is he all right? - Yeah, he's fine.
Why you hangin' on the banister? Can't you walk?
- Naturally, I can walk. - Yeah. He's got taxi fare.
- Come on. - You sure you're all right?
Well, it happens. Don't worry about it.
It ain't never happened to me before.
Bet your bottom dollar on that. Where's the matches?
Behind that thing.
Maybe if you didn't call me ma'am, it might work out better.
That's the first time the thing ever quit.
That's a fact. You think I'm lying to you?
No, I don't think you're lying. I just had this funny image.
I had an image of a policeman without his stick...
...and a bugler without his horn, etcetera, etcetera.
I'm making it worse.
We should take a nap...
...and see what happens.
I ain't sleepy.
I know... Scribbage.
Shit!
- Look at this here. - There's an "E" in "money".
- I mean, if that's your word. - That's how you spell it.
It's on that big building. M-O-N-Y. Money.
"Y". What starts with "Y"?
It can end in "Y".
Like "say," "pay"...
"Lay".
Hey, hey... "lay".
You're teasing me so I can't think.
"Gay" ends in "Y". You like that?
- Cut that out. - Gay. Is that your problem?
I'll show you a problem.
I'm not. I'm not exaggerating.
You should try it. It might be terrific for you.
For God's sake! What night is Phil's poker night?
Well, think!
Yeah, all right.
Joe, are you available Thursday night? What time?
- Around 8.30? - Let me think.
Thursday, 8.30. I guess I can be available. Hell, yes!
It's all set for Thursday at 8.30.
I can't talk now. Call me at the office.
Yeah. Bye-bye.
Ma'am, I sure hate to trouble you...
Sure.
Twenty, wasn't it?
Yes'm.
Bye.
Look right in there. What do you see?
Try that on for size.
I got some aspirin, Mentholatum, and all that crap.
- Are they raw? - No, but why'd you buy 'em?
I could've lifted this. Is that hot?
- You want some soup? - Yeah.
I'll get you some. We ain't got to steal no more.
I got eight bucks in my pockets and 20 more come Thursday.
- Give me some soup. - What do you think I'm gettin'?
That's good healthy stuff.
- Lookee there. Soup. - Thank you.
It's hot. Watch out.
How was she?
- She went crazy. - Yeah?
- She turned into an alley cat. - Thanks for this stuff.
- Don't mention it. - It's good.
- Don't get sore. - I ain't sore.
I can't walk any more. I've been falling down.
I'm scared.
What are you scared of?
You know what they do when they find out you can't walk.
Oh, Christ.
I got to lay down. I got to lay down.
Just take it easy. I'll lay you down.
There you go.
Put this over you. Now, you stay here.
- Where you goin'? - To get a doctor.
- What? - A doctor.
- Don't get me no doctor! - You're sick.
No doctors. No cops. Don't be so stupid.
- What do you want? - Florida.
- I can't go. - Put me on a bus.
- I don't need you. - How will you get to Florida?
They'll only send me to Bellevue. What're you doin'?
- You're sick. Keep it on. - Too hot now.
Dumb. You're really dumb. I don't need...
- Shut up! - Dumb cowboy.
Damn it! Shut up!
You got to pull a damn stunt like this.
Shirley, how you doin'?
With who?
When will she be home?
It's a good friend of hers.
It can't wait that long.
Too bad. We all have off days.
I'm Townsend P Lott from Chicago. Call me Towny.
I'm here to have a little fun.
It's my first night. Will you have dinner with me?
There's a French restaurant not too far from here.
Don't worry about how you're dressed.
I'll tell them you're with a rodeo.
Besides, you look very elegant.
I'm expecting a telephone call back at the hotel.
Mama? A coincidence. Guess who was being discussed.
Is that thing turned up? Why aren't you wearing it?
Really, Mama, this is impossible.
Why go to the expense?
Did I tell you I got me a sick kid?
I got to get him south, quick as I can.
I got a sick boy, and I'm gonna get him south.
You understand me, Towny?
What you got me up here for?
Joe, it's... it's so difficult.
I should never have asked you up here.
You're lovely, really.
Oh, God, I loathe life.
- Please go. - You want me to leave?
No.
I mean yes. Please go. Come back tomorrow. Promise?
- I'm going to Florida tomorrow. - That's terrible.
You meet someone, you think...
I want to give you something for your trip.
Please take it.
Take it. You don't have to be Catholic.
St Christopher's the patron saint of all travellers.
Take it... for helping me be good.
- I got to have money. - Yes, of course. Wait here.
I said wait.
Here. Don't thank me.
I need more than 10. I need $57.
- I don't have it. - I got family!
- There's nothing here. - Out of my way.
- Get out of my way! - No, no...
Let go of that table, please, sir.
Oh, I deserve it. I know I do. My nose is bleeding.
You gonna let go of that table, or you want a busted skull?
Joe... thank you.
Operator. Number, please.
- Number, please. - Hello. Hello.
- I wasn't calling anyone. - Hello?
I wasn't calling anyone.
I wasn't calling anyone, Joe...
31 hours. 11.30 in the morning, we get there.
Not this morning, but the next, at 11.30.
- These guys are good drivers. - They got to be.
You didn't kill him, did you? There's blood on your jacket.
Don't talk about it.
If you're shivering, put your blankets up.
I been thinkin'.
I hope we won't have any trouble about my name down there.
Keep your blankets on.
Can you see this guy runnin' around with a suntan,...
...goin' in swimmin', and then somebody yells, "Hey, Ratso!"
What's that sound like?
Sounds like they knew you.
Sounds like crap. I'm Rico all the time, OK?
We'll tell everyone my name's Rico.
- OK? - OK.
- What's the matter? - I'm wet.
- You're... you're what? - I wet my pants.
Hell, no use crying over the damn thing.
My leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, my face hurts.
Now I got to pee all over myself.
That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here.
You just took a little rest stop...
...that wasn't on the schedule.
I'll put you up here.
What size pants you wear?
Hi, honey.
- Where you from? - New York.
- Ever been here before? - It's my first time.
- Have a good time in Florida. - Thanks.
Hey... what are you doin'?
I'm zippin' your fly.
- Thanks, Joe. - These shirts are comfortable.
Yours was the last one with a palm tree.
Clothes are cheap here.
All this only set us back ten.
You know, Ratso... Rico, I mean...
I got this figured out.
When we get to Miami, I'm gonna get some sort of job, you know?
I ain't no hustler. There must be easier ways to make money.
Some sort of outdoors work. What do you think?
That's what I'll do.
OK, Rico?
Everything's fine. Nothing to worry about.
He kin to you?
- Want to close his eyes? - What?
Just close his eyes.
Nothing else we can do.
Just a little illness. We'll be in Miami soon.
Nothin' to worry about. Just a little illness.